Monday, May 06, 2002

jar jar must die

You know you hated him. I know I did. In fact, aside from some kids I know who like anything they see, I'm hard-pressed to think of anyone who liked Jar Jar Binks. (Besides George Lucas.)

So let's just say, for the sake of argument, that in "Star Wars: Episode 3," Darth Lucas gives in to mounting pressure and kills Jar Jar off. How do you think it should be done?

My personal preference? Picture an opening scene to the movie in which there is a gathering of various people from the first two movies, with the standard throw-ins from the original trilogy, all assembled in the foreground. They're talking about something serious, relevant to the plot of the movie. In the background, Jar Jar is eating a piece of fruit the size of an apple. It gets caught in his throat. No one notices. He starts to choke. Everyone else starts to file out of the room to the next scene change, while, still unseen and still in the background, Jar Jar collapses and dies.

I love it when a plan comes together.

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