After years of calmly urging people to get a grip and allow businesses to celebrate "the holidays," sell "holiday trees" and say "Happy holidays!" or even "Season's greetings," I have decided to accept that not only is there a war on Christmas, but it's time for me to enter it.
Since the Religious Right formally has declared that a "war on Christmas" exists, beginning in 2007 retail troops will have authorization to shoot on sight anyone celebrating "Christmas" instead of a generic winter holiday.
2007 will mark the end of the conflict, and Christmas will be destroyed. Have a nice shopping season!