Caught in the act of fathering

I had my first run-in with the law in ages this morning, on suspicions that I was luring a young girl into going somewhere with me.

It was a close call, all things considered. I mean, there I was at nine o'clock in the morning, walking hand-in-hand with Rachel. Right down the sidewalk! In broad daylight! Who knows what acts of perfidy I might have perpetrated if someone hadn't freaked out and called the police.

I had already been up to all sorts of silliness. I'd told her a story about grass that ran and hid in the living room because it didn't want to be cut by the lawnmower. Just imagine how far things might have progressed if they had gone unchecked. Why, I might have told her other stories, about leaves that hide in the bedroom because they're afraid of being raked!

The officer was apologetic, as I was obviously just a father walking with his little girl. (Rachel even vouched for me, though I do wonder what her older sister would have said had she been in that situation. Probably something like, "He said he's going to give me a puppy, officer!")

The officer explained that someone had called 9-1-1, twice, hysterical that a grown man with his shirt off, was walking away with a little girl, and so he'd been obliged to check it out. I showed him my license and explained about my psoriasis and how sunlight helps it clear up, and he drove off.

It was kind of odd, but it was reassuring to know that they are looking after Rachel's best interests.

I'm just glad he didn't come by when I was giving her a piggyback ride.



Copyright © 2008 by David Learn. Used with permission.


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