Maybe I should take Eowyn to see the new "Star Trek" movie; I think she'd find it very accessible.
In many ways, she's like the Enterprise herself. Get into a talk with her, and if her long-range sensors pick up something getting too close, she raises her shields immediately. Get in closer and it's all power to the forward shields, launch decoys, or whatever it takes to keep you from getting in a position to harm the ship. And if she determines you're a real menace, she'll shut down all nonessential systems and float dead in space like Kirk had the Enterprise do in "Balance of Terror."
Is there someone there? the Romulan crew wonders. Or is it a faulty sensor reading?
But every now and then it's possible to fly in close enough that you get inside the shields. You can see the dents and dings the ship has taken from its years of flying at warp speed, scan for metal fatigue where Klingon warbirds have struck with their disruptors, and even beam a landing party aboard.
It's a rare treat to walk the corridors of Eowyn's starship, but it's more satisfying than anything Paramount has produced for its franchise.
Today Eowyn let me aboard. She let me walk the corridors, visit engineering, and even gave me a seat on the bridge. Put in non-Trek terms, this is a Big Deal. Essentially, Eowyn let me into the sacred grove as a sign of how much she trusts me not to desecrate it.
I walked carefully.
Eowyn and I were taking a walk while Ruth was at ballet, and discussion turned to hanging out with friends. Eowyn rarely does this, so I wasn't surprised when she made a silly remark to divert me. All power to the forward shields, Mr. Scott.
"You know," I said. "I've noticed that whenever the conversation gets uncomfortable, you make a silly remark. It's like this is you" -- I held up a clenched hand -- "and if someone gets too close, you try to keep them out here" -- I waved a safe distance away with my other hand. "Am I right?"
"Maybe," she said. But I could tell that I had nailed it. After all, it's not like I don't know where she learned this behavior. She has learned well.
But she has also learned over the past nine years that she can trust me when she wants to. And for some reason, she decided this time to trust me. To extend the Star Trek metaphor, she lowered her shields and allowed me to beam over, and while I was on board, we talked.
"I'm just kind of used to being alone," she said.
"Alone, or lonely?" I asked. She didn't answer, which was answer enough. "I see you alone too, and it tears me up inside, because I know how lonely you feel."
"It's okay," she said. "I'm kind of used to it."
And that, I pointed out, is one of the strangest things about human nature: We get used to anything, and tell ourselves that it's all right and even normal. I reminded her that the Bible tells us that Adam once had an easy time with his work. He would plant crops, and they would grow as easy as anything. It was work, but it was work that he could enjoy. But after the Fall, it didn't come as easy as it used to. Work became toil, weeds grew among his crops, and sometimes animals would eat his crops before he did.
"I'm sure Adam got used to living like that, but if he had a choice, which do you think he would have rather had: that life, or the one he and Eve used to have in Eden?"
"The one they used to have," Eowyn said.
So we talked some more about friends, and how sometimes you meet someone and she becomes one of your best friends almost immediately; and sometimes you meet someone, and you like her but she doesn't like you; and sometimes you meet someone and it takes a while to become friends, and you have to work at it, by talking with them, and hanging out with them, and getting to know one another.
"And sometimes that's risky, because sometimes you get hurt," I said.
"What do you mean?"
"Well," I said, "sometimes someone will do something that hurts you. They don't mean to, but it does, and you need to forgive them. And sometimes they won't do something that you thought they should, and that hurts too, and you need to forgive them."
"And sometimes they go away."
Aha.
"Eowyn," I said. "I miss him too."
Of course it's not just Christian. It's Gabe and Kyra, two of her best friends from preschool whom we used to see regularly, except Gabe moved away, and Kyra's family didn't fully reciprocate our efforts to build and maintain the relationship. It's also Cassie, the older sister of one of Ruth's preschool friends, whom Eowyn got to know, but whose parents also didn't fully reciprocate our efforts to maintain the friendships.
And of course it's also the entire stinking third grade at school, when Eowyn was thrust into a classroom with none of her friends, and was barred from sitting with her friends at lunchtime because of some petty administrative need for control during the one time the kids have each day to be themselves.
But we talked. We talked for a good 30 or 40 minutes, sometimes on a bench, sometimes squatting in the parking lot. We talked about how there are a lot of people in her classroom and on her softball team who like her, we talked about the need to talk to friends and to reach out to people we like so that we can become friends, and we talked about how there's only so much that I can do as her father, and she needs to do the rest herself.
We talked a long time, and when we were done, I knew she had been crying, though she didn't want me to see the tears that had gathered on her nose.
We talked, and before we had dinner she called one of her friends and invited her to come over on Monday after school.
I'm trying, Lord. It's not easy, but I'm doing my best.
Copyright © 2009 by David Learn. Used with permission.
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Showing posts with label Star Trek. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Star Trek. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Monday, October 29, 2007
star trek 11
And the rumor mill has it that Paramount is planning to make yet another Star Trek movie. I heard about the movie over the weekend at a Halloween party, and I have to say that as I've learned more, I think the studio is jumping the gun on this one, but I'm still mildly intrigued.
As I understand the movie is using Nimoy's Spock just to provide an anchor for longtime fans, but the intent is to tell a story of Kirk's early years post-Academy, pre-command. From what I'm told, it's going to show Kirk getting to know the people who ultimately will become his trusted inner circle -- Scotty, McCoy, Spock and Mitchell -- and thus flesh out their characters at an earlier point in their development. You're better connected than I on these things, and doubtless you'll know if I'm mistaken.
In terms of continuity, I think the movie represents a solid opportunity, if Paramount were to play its cards right, to reinvigorate the Star Trek franchise by using it to launch a reimagined Classic Trek with its own continuity. ST10 could be a touchstone or bridge between the two incarnations of the franchise ... but of course, Paramount won't play its cards right, because Star Trek is the cash cow, and if they knew how to play their cards right they wouldn't have milked the cow to death in the first place with the meretricious writing that became the hallmark of Voyager and the bulk of Enterprise as well.
The smart thing to do would be to wait another ten years or so, and give people time to forget the Star Trek cliches of time travel, sound effects in space, appalling neglect of physics, Treknobabble, incredible coincidences, happy humanist philosophizing, aliens that look like humans with funny hats, and so on. The fans who stayed through "Spock's Brain," who endured a lounge singer dominating an entire season of DS9, and who wrote a 120-page paper on Star Trek's religious themes -- those fans aren't going anywhere. They just need time to forget how godawful the franchise became, and then they'll provide the core base for a new series, even if it's a total relaunch.
Aside from that, I'm disappointed in the sense that I think a movie would have far more creative potential if it drew its cast from TNG, Voyager and DS9. In an organization like Star Fleet, it makes little sense to keep everyone in the same position for their entire careers. (One of the nicer elements of ST:TMP was that Kirk actually had to draw his crew back together again, from all the placs they had wandered to.)
Just my 2 cents.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
chthulhu
I believe it was Phil Foglio who wrote a cartoon around the concept of a game called "Escape from Cthulhu." The players open a box, and one of them reads the incantation printed on the inside of the box. A hideous monster appears behind them, with tentacles waving around a mouth filled with needle-sharp teeth, and while the other players wig out, the player with the box reads the second step of the instructions: "Now escape."
I have to say that I've been rather struck by how seminal the Cthulhu mythos have proved to be, especially when you consider how poor Lovecraft was at the actual mechanics of writing. Movies like "Event Horizon" rely on the basic conceit of Lovecraft's work, Cthulhu was a fairly major character (under a different name) in Larry Niven's "World of Ptavvs," and the Old Ones even get mentioned in an episode of Star Trek.
I have to say that I've been rather struck by how seminal the Cthulhu mythos have proved to be, especially when you consider how poor Lovecraft was at the actual mechanics of writing. Movies like "Event Horizon" rely on the basic conceit of Lovecraft's work, Cthulhu was a fairly major character (under a different name) in Larry Niven's "World of Ptavvs," and the Old Ones even get mentioned in an episode of Star Trek.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
deep space 9
Now that I've seen the entire run of "Deep Space 9" from start to finish, I have to say that it is far and away the best of the Star Trek franchise.
Part of it's the characters. They were much more fully developed and better nuanced than in Classic Trek or TNG, with dark sides, aspirations, and a wider range of motivations than ever had been shown on Trek before. There were little things, like Sisko's love of baseball; to Odo's uncertain motivation first as someone who didn't know his origins and then as someone who rejected all that his people had done; the moral ambiguity of Quark, who in some episodes seemed decidedly corrupt and amoral and yet who consistently came out on the right side; and there were some really intriguing interactions among the characters, between Garak and Bashir, the repressed attraction between Dax and Sisko, the elaborate dance between Odo and Quark as constable and perpetual criminal suspect, and so on. (And the sheer range of characters! I lost track of how many supporting characters there were, from the station itself, to Bajor, to Cardassia, and the other Ferengi...)
But mostly it was the storytelling. There were some false starts, with the issues surrounding Bajor's assimilation into the Federation, but once the writers got going and started to figure out what the Dominion was and how it worked, the show just kept getting better. Seeing the Klingons as nasties again was a treat, and seeing humanity portrayed honestly on Star Trek for a change -- like in the episode where Garak blows up a Romulan vessel to support Sisko's lie that the Dominion plans to attack the Romulan Empire, and Sisko realizes he's OK with that -- was unforgettable. (And of course there was the episode that suggests the entire Star Trek franchise could be the product of the imagination of a black 1950s science fiction writer...)
I don't think I can say enough good about DS9. It was, all things considered, the high point of Trek. The franchise jumped the shark when they launched Voyager, and it never recovered. Maybe if they really do hire JMS to do a new series, but that's about the only way I can see.
Part of it's the characters. They were much more fully developed and better nuanced than in Classic Trek or TNG, with dark sides, aspirations, and a wider range of motivations than ever had been shown on Trek before. There were little things, like Sisko's love of baseball; to Odo's uncertain motivation first as someone who didn't know his origins and then as someone who rejected all that his people had done; the moral ambiguity of Quark, who in some episodes seemed decidedly corrupt and amoral and yet who consistently came out on the right side; and there were some really intriguing interactions among the characters, between Garak and Bashir, the repressed attraction between Dax and Sisko, the elaborate dance between Odo and Quark as constable and perpetual criminal suspect, and so on. (And the sheer range of characters! I lost track of how many supporting characters there were, from the station itself, to Bajor, to Cardassia, and the other Ferengi...)
But mostly it was the storytelling. There were some false starts, with the issues surrounding Bajor's assimilation into the Federation, but once the writers got going and started to figure out what the Dominion was and how it worked, the show just kept getting better. Seeing the Klingons as nasties again was a treat, and seeing humanity portrayed honestly on Star Trek for a change -- like in the episode where Garak blows up a Romulan vessel to support Sisko's lie that the Dominion plans to attack the Romulan Empire, and Sisko realizes he's OK with that -- was unforgettable. (And of course there was the episode that suggests the entire Star Trek franchise could be the product of the imagination of a black 1950s science fiction writer...)
I don't think I can say enough good about DS9. It was, all things considered, the high point of Trek. The franchise jumped the shark when they launched Voyager, and it never recovered. Maybe if they really do hire JMS to do a new series, but that's about the only way I can see.
Friday, April 27, 2007
alien: the next generation
Actually, now that I think about it, this one was pretty good too. I especially love the way the author, also uncredited, has the characters so clinically studying the alien's predatory nature, not to mention the fight scene between Worf and the alien when it breaks out of its victim's chest. I used to publish an e-zine of Star Trek fanfic and parodies back in college, and this was definitely one of my favorites as well. And no, I don't believe I altered this one at all.
Scene 1
Some planet deep in the Federation that no one has been to. Riker, Data, Geordi are checking out the flora.
RIKER: What do you make of it Data?
DATA: It appears to be a large pod, but there are no roots. I am not sure what it is. I think we would be better able to examine it in a lab.
GEORDI: Data's right. There's movement inside, but I can't see it.
RIKER: Of course not. You're blind. Transporter room, three to beam up.
Riker, Data and Geordi dematerialize with the pod in Data's hands.
Scene 2
Biology Lab: Riker, Picard, Data, Crusher and Wesley are examining the pod.
WESLEY: Let me see! I want to see!
PICARD: Shut up Wesley! Data, what do you make of it?
DATA: It appears to be dormant at this time, Captain. I am not quite certain whether it is harmful or not.
PICARD: Hmmm. You mean it could be dangerous.
DATA: I believe that is what I said.
WESLEY: Let me see! I want to see! Why are adults always so big?
PICARD: Shut up Wesley!
RIKER: It's my fault, Captain. I let him have ice cream for desert. It won't happen again.
Riker backhands Wesley.
PICARD: See that it doesn't. (to the intercom) Picard to bridge.
WORF: Worf here, Captain.
PICARD: Worf, is the decontamination circuitry working on the transporter?
WORF: No sir. I believe an engineer is working on the transporter. Apparently, the decontamination circuitry is inoperative. Do you want them to fix it?
PICARD: Oh. Oh, yes, of course. Make it so. (to the rest) I think it would best if we isolated the pod. I think we should leave the lab until we know what we are dealing with.
Everyone turns to leave except Wesley who moves closer.
WESLEY: Let me see!
PICARD: Shut up Wesley!
The pod opens and a strange alien creature attacks. It attaches itself to Wesley's face and coils its thickly muscled tail around Wesley's neck.
WESLEY: Urghhh! Gluck! Guhhhhgghhh!
PICARD: Thank you!
CRUSHER: Oh my god! It's got my son.
RIKER: Wesley, I thought I told you no "seconds," remember?
DATA: How interesting. It appears to be predatory, Captain.
PICARD: Indeed. I think you are right.
CRUSHER: Will somebody do something!!!!
The door opens and Yar bursts in.
YAR: Wesley, didn't I explain to you about using aliens? Stand back everybody.
Yar sets her phaser on full power and fires, blowing a hole in the alien creature. Fluids from the alien flow all over Wesley's face, melting it down.
CRUSHER: Oh! What have you done! Wesley, speak to me!!!
DATA: Wesley is unable to speak, doctor. As you can see, there is a strange tubular appendage protruding down his esophagus. I doubt the flow of air would be sufficient to permit speech.
PICARD: Good. Now let's get back to work.
CRUSHER: I'm not going to let this happen. I'm going to save my son, no matter what.
Scene 3
The bridge. Normal crew members. Data and Geordi are sitting at their consols; Riker, Picard and Troi are spreading in their seats; Yar and Worf are playing Space Invaders.
PICARD: Who farted?!!
RIKER: Not me. (looks across at Troi who turns red)
TROI: (recovering) I feel guilt, but it's not mine. (looks over to Data)
DATA: I am an android, I do not fart. (looks at Geordi)
GEORDI: If it had been me, I would have seen it. (looks at Worf)
WORF: Klingons fart only in airlocks. (looks at Yar)
YAR: As your Chief of Security, I'd know if it had been me, sir. (looks at Picard)
PICARD: Shall we take a vote on it? (everyone looks at Picard)
CRUSHER: (On the intercom) Crusher to Bridge!
PICARD: Picard, bridge here, er, I mean....
RIKER: (smiling) You mean bridge, Picard here, right sir?
PICARD: Yes! Thank you number one. What is it Dr. Crusher?
CRUSHER: I think you better come down here, Captain, it's the alien, its gone!
PICARD: It is, oh, is Wesley dead?
CRUSHER: No, he's alive.
PICARD: Damn. Just what does it take to get rid of him? We'll be right there. Mister LaForge, you have the con.
GEORDI: Aye, sir.
Picard, Riker, Data, Yar and Worf leave the bridge. Various other individuals enter from several different doors.
Scene 4
Sickbay. Wesley's lying on the couch, as he sits up, half his face falls on the floor.
DATA: It appears Wesley has been picking his nose again.
RIKER: It's my fault. It won't happen again.
CRUSHER: Wesley hasn't been picking his nose, it was the body fluids from the alien that did this.
YAR: Found it Captain. (Yar picks up a rather large, beige crab with a lizard's tail attached to it) It's dead.
WORF: Too bad. I would have enjoyed fighting it.
PICARD: By the way, what about the decontamination circuits, Worf?
WORF: They are still inoperative, sir. If there are any diseases, it would be an honor to fight them for you, sir.
PICARD: (looking at Wesley) I would not think that ice cream would not be inappropriate for young Wesley, don't you think so Number One?
RIKER: I agree, sir.
DATA: (looking a bit puzzled) Captain, I tried to follow all your negatives, but I am not sure I understand what it was you said.
RIKER: (returning with the ice cream) Here you go, Wesley.
WESLEY: Oh boy! (Wesley begins eating, but stops after a while) I don't feel so good.
YAR: You see Wesley, ice cream makes you feel good while you're eating it, but when it's done, you don't feel so good. So say no to ice cream and you can have a figure like mine.
Wesley's stomach pulsates, and then erupts in a mass of blood and ice cream. A small head appears and flashes its teeth. Worf flashes his teeth back.
ALIEN: Keeee-yeaaaahnnnn!!!!
WORF: Aaaaarggggghhhhhh!!!!
YAR: Watch it Worf! Don't make him mad.
Worf grabs a laser scalpel from a tray and attacks. The alien retreats into Wesley's body cavity and Worf attempts to pursue. There is a loud cracking sound as Wesley's rib cage is broken up.
WORF: (sounding like Curly) Wub wub wub wub wub!!!!
WESLEY: (sounding like he's in pain) AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH......
DATA: Worf is now exhibiting the Klingon cry of glorious satisfaction.
PICARD: (looking at Wesley's dead body) I concur.
CRUSHER: Ohh..hh.hh.hhhh....hhhh! (sniff) He.. waszz huh huh.. my only suh..huhhnnnn...uhhh!
PICARD: (slapping Crusher) Get a hold on yourself doctor. There are a thousand passengers and crew on this vessel. They need you. I don't think anyone needed... "the boy."
YAR: Worf, did you get it?
WORF: No, it got away.
Scene 5
The Bridge. Only Picard is there.
PICARD: Captain's log, stardate 35.77. This alien has killed my entire crew. I have tried to reason with it, but to no avail. I have no other choice but to do a saucer separation and make my way to the nearest starbase and inform Starfleet. I have located the alien on deck 12, and will have the warp engines self destruct, killing this most horrible beast, this creature formed from some malevolent force, oh thou art such a cruel... uh, ahem... Captain out.
Picard separates the saucer section and blows up the other half of the Enterprise. While snoozing in his chair, he becomes aware of a presence on the Bridge with him. He becomes alert and readies his phaser.
PICARD: You!! You!! You've killed my crew, but I'll defeat you!!!
ALIEN: (drooling and picking its teeth)
A flash of light behind Picard causes him to turn.
Q: Go ahead, kill it. It's an unknown, it's dangerous. What's the matter, Picard, hair growing on the inside of that chrome dome caused your brain to malfunction?
PICARD: Q!!! So you're behind this. Where's my crew? What have you done you murderous scoundrel?!!!!!
Q: Oh come now, mon Capitan. I'm just observing. I didn't bring the alien aboard. You did. Shoot it. It's dangerous.
PICARD: No, No!!! I won't do what you want. We're civilized. We aren't barbarians anymore.
Picard lowers his phaser and the alien attacks, biting off a chunk of Picard's head.
Q: Jean-Luc, I wasn't joking this time. I really meant it, it's dangerous. I can't believe you fell for the oldest trick in the book. Oh my. You foolish humans will never amount to anything. Even Microbrain was smarter than you!
PICARD: (dying) Whaaat.. what did you mean you weren't joking...
Q: (looking like Wesley) Shut up, Picard.
Some planet deep in the Federation that no one has been to. Riker, Data, Geordi are checking out the flora.
RIKER: What do you make of it Data?
DATA: It appears to be a large pod, but there are no roots. I am not sure what it is. I think we would be better able to examine it in a lab.
GEORDI: Data's right. There's movement inside, but I can't see it.
RIKER: Of course not. You're blind. Transporter room, three to beam up.
Riker, Data and Geordi dematerialize with the pod in Data's hands.
Scene 2
Biology Lab: Riker, Picard, Data, Crusher and Wesley are examining the pod.
WESLEY: Let me see! I want to see!
PICARD: Shut up Wesley! Data, what do you make of it?
DATA: It appears to be dormant at this time, Captain. I am not quite certain whether it is harmful or not.
PICARD: Hmmm. You mean it could be dangerous.
DATA: I believe that is what I said.
WESLEY: Let me see! I want to see! Why are adults always so big?
PICARD: Shut up Wesley!
RIKER: It's my fault, Captain. I let him have ice cream for desert. It won't happen again.
Riker backhands Wesley.
PICARD: See that it doesn't. (to the intercom) Picard to bridge.
WORF: Worf here, Captain.
PICARD: Worf, is the decontamination circuitry working on the transporter?
WORF: No sir. I believe an engineer is working on the transporter. Apparently, the decontamination circuitry is inoperative. Do you want them to fix it?
PICARD: Oh. Oh, yes, of course. Make it so. (to the rest) I think it would best if we isolated the pod. I think we should leave the lab until we know what we are dealing with.
Everyone turns to leave except Wesley who moves closer.
WESLEY: Let me see!
PICARD: Shut up Wesley!
The pod opens and a strange alien creature attacks. It attaches itself to Wesley's face and coils its thickly muscled tail around Wesley's neck.
WESLEY: Urghhh! Gluck! Guhhhhgghhh!
PICARD: Thank you!
CRUSHER: Oh my god! It's got my son.
RIKER: Wesley, I thought I told you no "seconds," remember?
DATA: How interesting. It appears to be predatory, Captain.
PICARD: Indeed. I think you are right.
CRUSHER: Will somebody do something!!!!
The door opens and Yar bursts in.
YAR: Wesley, didn't I explain to you about using aliens? Stand back everybody.
Yar sets her phaser on full power and fires, blowing a hole in the alien creature. Fluids from the alien flow all over Wesley's face, melting it down.
CRUSHER: Oh! What have you done! Wesley, speak to me!!!
DATA: Wesley is unable to speak, doctor. As you can see, there is a strange tubular appendage protruding down his esophagus. I doubt the flow of air would be sufficient to permit speech.
PICARD: Good. Now let's get back to work.
CRUSHER: I'm not going to let this happen. I'm going to save my son, no matter what.
Scene 3
The bridge. Normal crew members. Data and Geordi are sitting at their consols; Riker, Picard and Troi are spreading in their seats; Yar and Worf are playing Space Invaders.
PICARD: Who farted?!!
RIKER: Not me. (looks across at Troi who turns red)
TROI: (recovering) I feel guilt, but it's not mine. (looks over to Data)
DATA: I am an android, I do not fart. (looks at Geordi)
GEORDI: If it had been me, I would have seen it. (looks at Worf)
WORF: Klingons fart only in airlocks. (looks at Yar)
YAR: As your Chief of Security, I'd know if it had been me, sir. (looks at Picard)
PICARD: Shall we take a vote on it? (everyone looks at Picard)
CRUSHER: (On the intercom) Crusher to Bridge!
PICARD: Picard, bridge here, er, I mean....
RIKER: (smiling) You mean bridge, Picard here, right sir?
PICARD: Yes! Thank you number one. What is it Dr. Crusher?
CRUSHER: I think you better come down here, Captain, it's the alien, its gone!
PICARD: It is, oh, is Wesley dead?
CRUSHER: No, he's alive.
PICARD: Damn. Just what does it take to get rid of him? We'll be right there. Mister LaForge, you have the con.
GEORDI: Aye, sir.
Picard, Riker, Data, Yar and Worf leave the bridge. Various other individuals enter from several different doors.
Scene 4
Sickbay. Wesley's lying on the couch, as he sits up, half his face falls on the floor.
DATA: It appears Wesley has been picking his nose again.
RIKER: It's my fault. It won't happen again.
CRUSHER: Wesley hasn't been picking his nose, it was the body fluids from the alien that did this.
YAR: Found it Captain. (Yar picks up a rather large, beige crab with a lizard's tail attached to it) It's dead.
WORF: Too bad. I would have enjoyed fighting it.
PICARD: By the way, what about the decontamination circuits, Worf?
WORF: They are still inoperative, sir. If there are any diseases, it would be an honor to fight them for you, sir.
PICARD: (looking at Wesley) I would not think that ice cream would not be inappropriate for young Wesley, don't you think so Number One?
RIKER: I agree, sir.
DATA: (looking a bit puzzled) Captain, I tried to follow all your negatives, but I am not sure I understand what it was you said.
RIKER: (returning with the ice cream) Here you go, Wesley.
WESLEY: Oh boy! (Wesley begins eating, but stops after a while) I don't feel so good.
YAR: You see Wesley, ice cream makes you feel good while you're eating it, but when it's done, you don't feel so good. So say no to ice cream and you can have a figure like mine.
Wesley's stomach pulsates, and then erupts in a mass of blood and ice cream. A small head appears and flashes its teeth. Worf flashes his teeth back.
ALIEN: Keeee-yeaaaahnnnn!!!!
WORF: Aaaaarggggghhhhhh!!!!
YAR: Watch it Worf! Don't make him mad.
Worf grabs a laser scalpel from a tray and attacks. The alien retreats into Wesley's body cavity and Worf attempts to pursue. There is a loud cracking sound as Wesley's rib cage is broken up.
WORF: (sounding like Curly) Wub wub wub wub wub!!!!
WESLEY: (sounding like he's in pain) AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH......
DATA: Worf is now exhibiting the Klingon cry of glorious satisfaction.
PICARD: (looking at Wesley's dead body) I concur.
CRUSHER: Ohh..hh.hh.hhhh....hhhh! (sniff) He.. waszz huh huh.. my only suh..huhhnnnn...uhhh!
PICARD: (slapping Crusher) Get a hold on yourself doctor. There are a thousand passengers and crew on this vessel. They need you. I don't think anyone needed... "the boy."
YAR: Worf, did you get it?
WORF: No, it got away.
Scene 5
The Bridge. Only Picard is there.
PICARD: Captain's log, stardate 35.77. This alien has killed my entire crew. I have tried to reason with it, but to no avail. I have no other choice but to do a saucer separation and make my way to the nearest starbase and inform Starfleet. I have located the alien on deck 12, and will have the warp engines self destruct, killing this most horrible beast, this creature formed from some malevolent force, oh thou art such a cruel... uh, ahem... Captain out.
Picard separates the saucer section and blows up the other half of the Enterprise. While snoozing in his chair, he becomes aware of a presence on the Bridge with him. He becomes alert and readies his phaser.
PICARD: You!! You!! You've killed my crew, but I'll defeat you!!!
ALIEN: (drooling and picking its teeth)
A flash of light behind Picard causes him to turn.
Q: Go ahead, kill it. It's an unknown, it's dangerous. What's the matter, Picard, hair growing on the inside of that chrome dome caused your brain to malfunction?
PICARD: Q!!! So you're behind this. Where's my crew? What have you done you murderous scoundrel?!!!!!
Q: Oh come now, mon Capitan. I'm just observing. I didn't bring the alien aboard. You did. Shoot it. It's dangerous.
PICARD: No, No!!! I won't do what you want. We're civilized. We aren't barbarians anymore.
Picard lowers his phaser and the alien attacks, biting off a chunk of Picard's head.
Q: Jean-Luc, I wasn't joking this time. I really meant it, it's dangerous. I can't believe you fell for the oldest trick in the book. Oh my. You foolish humans will never amount to anything. Even Microbrain was smarter than you!
PICARD: (dying) Whaaat.. what did you mean you weren't joking...
Q: (looking like Wesley) Shut up, Picard.
who's on first
This remains one of the best Star Trek fanfics I've ever read, doubtless because of the strength of the Abbott and Costello routine. I have no idea who wrote this particular adaptation, though I did modify the ending myself to its current form, back in college, in order to take things to their ultimate conclusion.
"Who's on First?"
Kirk, McCoy, and Scotty are huddled in a corridor near a transporter room, talking with one another, in the distance, Spock rounds a corner and heads toward the group.
McCOY. Shh! He's coming! Scotty, go act like you're adjusting the transporter or something.
SCOTTY. Aye, doctor.
KIRK. Ah, hello Mister Spock.
SPOCK. Good day, captain.
KIRK. Are you familiar with the game "baseball," Mr Spock?
SPOCK. Baseball is a tactical game played on a geometric pattern of four sides with a spherical object. The purpose is to deflect the object with a long wooden stick called a "bat," amidst loud verbalizations of "Hurrah" and "The umpire must be blind!" Is this correct?
KIRK. Indeed. We are in the process of learning about one of the baseball teams from old Earth.
SPOCK. Oh? I am quite versed with old Earth history. Perhaps I may be of assistance.
KIRK. That's the idea.
SPOCK. Very well. Proceed.
KIRK. All right. Who's on first.
SPOCK. I am unable to determine who is on first without proper information concerning the team and year, sir.
KIRK. So?
SPOCK. Perhaps we could start with who the team is, and I can test the accuracy.
KIRK. No, Who's on first.
SPOCK. I do not know.
McCOY. Third base.
SPOCK. Who is?
KIRK. No, he's first base.
SPOCK. Who is?
KIRK. Correct.
SPOCK. Who is correct?
KIRK. Sometimes.
SPOCK. Who is sometimes?
KIRK. No, Who is first baseman. I'm not familiar with Sometimes' identity.
SPOCK. Whose identity?
KIRK. No, him I know -- he's first baseman.
SPOCK. Who is?
KIRK. That's right.
SPOCK. Perhaps we can discuss the identity of the second baseman.
KIRK. What.
SPOCK. I said the second baseman.
KIRK. What.
SPOCK. This is highly illogical. You have no apparent auditory disfunction, sir. Now, as I asked: who is the second baseman?
KIRK. No, you didn't ask that, and Who is the first baseman.
SPOCK. Very well. Captain, I ask you politely: Who is the second baseman?
KIRK. No, Who is the first baseman. What is the second baseman.
SPOCK. That is incorrect, captain. The second baseman is obviously a sentient being, and therefore should be referred to as who, and not what. "Who is the second baseman?", not "What is the second baseman?"
KIRK. Wrong, Spock. Who is the first baseman, and What is the second baseman.
SPOCK. That statement is most illogical.
KIRK. Wait a minute -- we'll get Scotty. He's Scottish, he must love baseball. Oh, Mister Scott?
SCOTTY. Enters from the transporter room. Aye, cap'n?
KIRK. Who is the first baseman of the team we were talking about.
SCOTTY. Aye, cap'n. It ain't never been any other way!
KIRK. You see, Spock?
SPOCK. Yes ... very well. Mister Scott, who is the second baseman?
SCOTTY. Ach! No, Mister Spock! That be What you're talking about!
SPOCK. I know that be what ... er ... is what I'm talking about. I am very intelligent, and rarely lose track of what I am talking about.
SCOTTY. Ach! Dinna bring track inta this! That be a bloomin' field event.
SPOCK. What has this got to do with field events?
SCOTTY. Ach! No! What's the second baseman.
SPOCK. Again, I note that a person should be referred to as "who" and not "what," Mister Scott.
SCOTTY. Only if he's tha fairst baseman, Mister Spock.
SPOCK. What you are saying is most illogical.
SCOTTY. Ach! No! What's a real bright fella.
SPOCK. Who is a "real bright fella" Mister Scott?
SCOTTY. No, sir. Who ... now he's a real dope, sir.
SPOCK. Who is?
SCOTTY. Aye.
SPOCK. Captain, this is most illogical, and I do not feel as though we are getting anywhere. Perhaps we can discuss the identity of another player, such as the pitcher?
KIRK. Tomorrow.
SPOCK. Tomorrow? If you are genuinely interested in this discussion, today would be much better.
McCOY. Well, Spock, Today is good, but he's the catcher.
SPOCK. Who is?
SCOTTY. Nay, Mr Spock -- Who's the first baseman.
SPOCK. I do not know.
KIRK. Third base!
SPOCK. What?
KIRK. No, he's on second.
SPOCK. Who is?
KIRK. No, Spock, Who's on first.
SPOCK. I do not know.
McCOY. Third base!
This continues on for quite some time until finally we see a medical team in the corridor, gathered around Spock, who is bound in a straitjacket. Spock is babbling incoherently.
KIRK. Bones, do you think maybe we went too far this time?
"Who's on First?"
Kirk, McCoy, and Scotty are huddled in a corridor near a transporter room, talking with one another, in the distance, Spock rounds a corner and heads toward the group.
SCOTTY. Aye, doctor.
KIRK. Ah, hello Mister Spock.
SPOCK. Good day, captain.
KIRK. Are you familiar with the game "baseball," Mr Spock?
SPOCK. Baseball is a tactical game played on a geometric pattern of four sides with a spherical object. The purpose is to deflect the object with a long wooden stick called a "bat," amidst loud verbalizations of "Hurrah" and "The umpire must be blind!" Is this correct?
KIRK. Indeed. We are in the process of learning about one of the baseball teams from old Earth.
SPOCK. Oh? I am quite versed with old Earth history. Perhaps I may be of assistance.
KIRK. That's the idea.
SPOCK. Very well. Proceed.
KIRK. All right. Who's on first.
SPOCK. I am unable to determine who is on first without proper information concerning the team and year, sir.
KIRK. So?
SPOCK. Perhaps we could start with who the team is, and I can test the accuracy.
KIRK. No, Who's on first.
SPOCK. I do not know.
McCOY. Third base.
SPOCK. Who is?
KIRK. No, he's first base.
SPOCK. Who is?
KIRK. Correct.
SPOCK. Who is correct?
KIRK. Sometimes.
SPOCK. Who is sometimes?
KIRK. No, Who is first baseman. I'm not familiar with Sometimes' identity.
SPOCK. Whose identity?
KIRK. No, him I know -- he's first baseman.
SPOCK. Who is?
KIRK. That's right.
SPOCK. Perhaps we can discuss the identity of the second baseman.
KIRK. What.
SPOCK. I said the second baseman.
KIRK. What.
SPOCK. This is highly illogical. You have no apparent auditory disfunction, sir. Now, as I asked: who is the second baseman?
KIRK. No, you didn't ask that, and Who is the first baseman.
SPOCK. Very well. Captain, I ask you politely: Who is the second baseman?
KIRK. No, Who is the first baseman. What is the second baseman.
SPOCK. That is incorrect, captain. The second baseman is obviously a sentient being, and therefore should be referred to as who, and not what. "Who is the second baseman?", not "What is the second baseman?"
KIRK. Wrong, Spock. Who is the first baseman, and What is the second baseman.
SPOCK. That statement is most illogical.
KIRK. Wait a minute -- we'll get Scotty. He's Scottish, he must love baseball. Oh, Mister Scott?
SCOTTY. Enters from the transporter room. Aye, cap'n?
KIRK. Who is the first baseman of the team we were talking about.
SCOTTY. Aye, cap'n. It ain't never been any other way!
KIRK. You see, Spock?
SPOCK. Yes ... very well. Mister Scott, who is the second baseman?
SCOTTY. Ach! No, Mister Spock! That be What you're talking about!
SPOCK. I know that be what ... er ... is what I'm talking about. I am very intelligent, and rarely lose track of what I am talking about.
SCOTTY. Ach! Dinna bring track inta this! That be a bloomin' field event.
SPOCK. What has this got to do with field events?
SCOTTY. Ach! No! What's the second baseman.
SPOCK. Again, I note that a person should be referred to as "who" and not "what," Mister Scott.
SCOTTY. Only if he's tha fairst baseman, Mister Spock.
SPOCK. What you are saying is most illogical.
SCOTTY. Ach! No! What's a real bright fella.
SPOCK. Who is a "real bright fella" Mister Scott?
SCOTTY. No, sir. Who ... now he's a real dope, sir.
SPOCK. Who is?
SCOTTY. Aye.
SPOCK. Captain, this is most illogical, and I do not feel as though we are getting anywhere. Perhaps we can discuss the identity of another player, such as the pitcher?
KIRK. Tomorrow.
SPOCK. Tomorrow? If you are genuinely interested in this discussion, today would be much better.
McCOY. Well, Spock, Today is good, but he's the catcher.
SPOCK. Who is?
SCOTTY. Nay, Mr Spock -- Who's the first baseman.
SPOCK. I do not know.
KIRK. Third base!
SPOCK. What?
KIRK. No, he's on second.
SPOCK. Who is?
KIRK. No, Spock, Who's on first.
SPOCK. I do not know.
McCOY. Third base!
This continues on for quite some time until finally we see a medical team in the corridor, gathered around Spock, who is bound in a straitjacket. Spock is babbling incoherently.
KIRK. Bones, do you think maybe we went too far this time?
Saturday, March 27, 2004
chthulhu sightings
In the Classic Trek episode "What are Little Girls Made Of?" the Enterprise visits a planet with Roc, an android who has been tending the machines for so long even he has forgotten how long.
Roc occasionally makes reference to the Old Ones, all supposedly dead. The design of the sets and costuming also was supposed to resemble some Lovecraft settings. Oh, and Roger Korby -- the antagonist of the episode -- has a plan to replace humanity with machines, basically killing all the humans in the process.
The rather forgettable Lawrence Fishburne sci-fi movie "Event Horizon" also has some obvious Lovecraft influences as well. The ship's hyperdrive -- it employs an artificially created black hole -- opens a portal to a dimension of infinite evil that drives everyone into a suicidal/homicidal madness.
I also recently found another Cthulhu tribute that I'm surprised I never noticed before. It's in Larry Niven's "World of Ptavvs," in which Kzanol is released from billions of years in stasis.
Why does this matter? Well, Kzanol is a thrint, a race of telepathic beings who ruled the galaxy billions of years ago. A race -- or group of races, more likely -- called the tnuctipun eventually found a way to throw off the thrints' telepathic dominion and started a huge war that led to the extinction of the thrintun race. Kzanol missed this entire war because he was in a stasis field at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.
During the billions of years he has been asleep, his entire race has gone extinct, taking with it all intelligent life in the galaxy. In the meantime, intelligent life has evolved from the yeast farms the thrintun had seeded on planets such as Earth and the Kzin homeworld.
The humans have discovered Kzanol's stasis field and find a way to open it. His psychic blast drives thousands of people insane. Others suffer tremendous nightmares. And the race begins among Kzanol, the Belters, the Earth and a human telepath who thinks he is Kzanol to recover a psychic amplifier that will allow Kzanol to rule the entire earth telepathically.
He's also a rather ugly creature with one eye, and with tentacles around his mouth. Since humans evolved from the food yeast the thrintun grew on the planet, he finds us quite tasty.
Hmm. A member of a very old race, asleep under the ocean for billions of years, his waking drives men mad and heralds the possible end of human civilization, and he's even got the appearance.
I can't believe I never noticed it before.
Roc occasionally makes reference to the Old Ones, all supposedly dead. The design of the sets and costuming also was supposed to resemble some Lovecraft settings. Oh, and Roger Korby -- the antagonist of the episode -- has a plan to replace humanity with machines, basically killing all the humans in the process.
The rather forgettable Lawrence Fishburne sci-fi movie "Event Horizon" also has some obvious Lovecraft influences as well. The ship's hyperdrive -- it employs an artificially created black hole -- opens a portal to a dimension of infinite evil that drives everyone into a suicidal/homicidal madness.
I also recently found another Cthulhu tribute that I'm surprised I never noticed before. It's in Larry Niven's "World of Ptavvs," in which Kzanol is released from billions of years in stasis.
Why does this matter? Well, Kzanol is a thrint, a race of telepathic beings who ruled the galaxy billions of years ago. A race -- or group of races, more likely -- called the tnuctipun eventually found a way to throw off the thrints' telepathic dominion and started a huge war that led to the extinction of the thrintun race. Kzanol missed this entire war because he was in a stasis field at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.
During the billions of years he has been asleep, his entire race has gone extinct, taking with it all intelligent life in the galaxy. In the meantime, intelligent life has evolved from the yeast farms the thrintun had seeded on planets such as Earth and the Kzin homeworld.
The humans have discovered Kzanol's stasis field and find a way to open it. His psychic blast drives thousands of people insane. Others suffer tremendous nightmares. And the race begins among Kzanol, the Belters, the Earth and a human telepath who thinks he is Kzanol to recover a psychic amplifier that will allow Kzanol to rule the entire earth telepathically.
He's also a rather ugly creature with one eye, and with tentacles around his mouth. Since humans evolved from the food yeast the thrintun grew on the planet, he finds us quite tasty.
Hmm. A member of a very old race, asleep under the ocean for billions of years, his waking drives men mad and heralds the possible end of human civilization, and he's even got the appearance.
I can't believe I never noticed it before.
Saturday, December 20, 2003
'the enemy within'
There's an episode from the first season of Classic Trek where a transporter malfunction splits Kirk into two halves. The first half contains all his nobler characteristics: gentle manner, restraint, compassionate, friendly and so on -- but as the sheep, it is incapable of command and making decisions. The second is his "dark" half: self-indulgent, brutal, violent and incapable of control. Call it the Wolf. The Wolf attacks a crew member and even tries to rape Yeoman Janice Rand.
The episode's quite interesting from a psychological perspective, and it's even been used to assist some psychiatrict patients by getting them to see that both sides of their personality are essential for them to be a fully functioning human being.
Now at the end of the episode, when they fixed the transporter and reintegrated the two halves of Kirk, he remarks to Spock, "I've seen a side of me no one should have to see." I think we're led to consider the Sheep to be the real Kirk since it's the one we see at the start of the episode, and so we understand that he's referring to the Wolf.
I'd argue that he's also referring to the Sheep -- that he holds the interal weakness in his much disdain as the internal predator.
Any takers?
The episode's quite interesting from a psychological perspective, and it's even been used to assist some psychiatrict patients by getting them to see that both sides of their personality are essential for them to be a fully functioning human being.
Now at the end of the episode, when they fixed the transporter and reintegrated the two halves of Kirk, he remarks to Spock, "I've seen a side of me no one should have to see." I think we're led to consider the Sheep to be the real Kirk since it's the one we see at the start of the episode, and so we understand that he's referring to the Wolf.
I'd argue that he's also referring to the Sheep -- that he holds the interal weakness in his much disdain as the internal predator.
Any takers?
Friday, December 19, 2003
'the undiscovered country'
"The Undiscovered Country" was decent, but it had a few flaws that I think knock it down in rank to probably the fourth-best Classic Trek film:
1) Valeris. Who the heck is she? She appears out of nowhere and yet her betrayal is supposed to catch us off-guard and to shock the other, established characters. Sorry, this completely failed to work for me. Earlier scripts called for having Kirstie Alley reprising her role of Saavik and having Saavik betray Kirk. If only "Cheers" had worked around the movie filming schedule -- Alley wanted to do the role -- it would have been tremendous. Saavik was deeply established in fans' minds because of the parts she played in TWoK and TSFS, plus her cameo is TVH. It would have shocked the bejesus out of us to see her betray the Federation, but it would have *fit*.
Thanks to the novelisations, it was generally accepted among fans that Saavik and David Marcus had been lovers, and it was the Klingons who had killed David. She would have wanted to avoid peace with the Klingons as much as anyone else. She also would have seen the logic to what she was doing; the movie as written continued her relationship with Spock and the others perfectly from where it had been; and so on. Honestly, either the "Cheers" crew should have adjusted, they should have got Robin Curtis to reprise the role; or they should have waited until there was a break in the "Cheers" filming.
2) Kirk should have died. Actually, in the earlier scripts -- I think as late as the penultimate draft -- he *did* die. It was perfect; he dives to save the Federation president and takes the phaser blast for him. It gives Kirk a hero's death, balances Gorkon's sacrifice with one from the Federation, completely exonerates Kirk of complicity in Gorkon's death, and it ties back into the words of the Klingon chancellor in Star Trek IV: "There will be no peace while Kirk lives!" Instead, he lives for no good reason.
3) Continuity errors. At the start of the movie, Sulu is commanding the USS Excelsior, which has been on a mission studying gaseous anomalies. Later on, Spock and McCoy rig up a photon torpedo with a sensor used to study gaseous anomalies so they can peg General Chang's ship. Absolutely smegging brilliant, but for one thing -- the Enterprise hasn't been studying gaseous anomalies. The Excelsior was. Again, I understand earlier drafts had Sulu's ship getting in this first critical shot -- a perfect way to pass the baton -- but that was changed so the Enterprise could get it in.
4) Too many stupid jokes and rehashed ideas. "I've been dead before," Spock quips. Kirk wrestles someone who looks just like him. (Saw that in "Whom Gods Destroy," "What are Little Girls Made of?" and "The Enemy Within," among others.) Valeris firing a phaser inside the galley just to illustrate something she could have explained very easily and without destroying a pot of mashed potatoes.
5) Mind rape. There is no way Spock would ever -- ever -- do that.
It was fun to watch the first time, but it doesn't really hold up so well to repeat viewing.
1) Valeris. Who the heck is she? She appears out of nowhere and yet her betrayal is supposed to catch us off-guard and to shock the other, established characters. Sorry, this completely failed to work for me. Earlier scripts called for having Kirstie Alley reprising her role of Saavik and having Saavik betray Kirk. If only "Cheers" had worked around the movie filming schedule -- Alley wanted to do the role -- it would have been tremendous. Saavik was deeply established in fans' minds because of the parts she played in TWoK and TSFS, plus her cameo is TVH. It would have shocked the bejesus out of us to see her betray the Federation, but it would have *fit*.
Thanks to the novelisations, it was generally accepted among fans that Saavik and David Marcus had been lovers, and it was the Klingons who had killed David. She would have wanted to avoid peace with the Klingons as much as anyone else. She also would have seen the logic to what she was doing; the movie as written continued her relationship with Spock and the others perfectly from where it had been; and so on. Honestly, either the "Cheers" crew should have adjusted, they should have got Robin Curtis to reprise the role; or they should have waited until there was a break in the "Cheers" filming.
2) Kirk should have died. Actually, in the earlier scripts -- I think as late as the penultimate draft -- he *did* die. It was perfect; he dives to save the Federation president and takes the phaser blast for him. It gives Kirk a hero's death, balances Gorkon's sacrifice with one from the Federation, completely exonerates Kirk of complicity in Gorkon's death, and it ties back into the words of the Klingon chancellor in Star Trek IV: "There will be no peace while Kirk lives!" Instead, he lives for no good reason.
3) Continuity errors. At the start of the movie, Sulu is commanding the USS Excelsior, which has been on a mission studying gaseous anomalies. Later on, Spock and McCoy rig up a photon torpedo with a sensor used to study gaseous anomalies so they can peg General Chang's ship. Absolutely smegging brilliant, but for one thing -- the Enterprise hasn't been studying gaseous anomalies. The Excelsior was. Again, I understand earlier drafts had Sulu's ship getting in this first critical shot -- a perfect way to pass the baton -- but that was changed so the Enterprise could get it in.
4) Too many stupid jokes and rehashed ideas. "I've been dead before," Spock quips. Kirk wrestles someone who looks just like him. (Saw that in "Whom Gods Destroy," "What are Little Girls Made of?" and "The Enemy Within," among others.) Valeris firing a phaser inside the galley just to illustrate something she could have explained very easily and without destroying a pot of mashed potatoes.
5) Mind rape. There is no way Spock would ever -- ever -- do that.
It was fun to watch the first time, but it doesn't really hold up so well to repeat viewing.
Monday, December 15, 2003
best star trek movie
- Star Trek: The Motion Picture
- Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
- Star Trek III: The Search for Spock
- Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
- Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
- Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
- Star Trek Generations
- Star Trek: First Contact
- Star Trek Insurrection
- Star Trek Nemesis
I enjoyed "The Voyage Home" the first few times I saw it, but after a few times, it reached the point that I found myself saying, "Oh, yeah. That joke again." While TVH had an important environmental message, I thought "The Wrath of Khan" was far better in terms of movie-making. Like all good sci-fi, it wasn't about the story or the neat special effects, but the characters. In this case, it was Kirk's midlife crisis and feeling that his best years were behind him; it was Khan's destructive obsession with revenge; and it was the very deep bonds of friendship among Kirk, Spock and McCoy.
It was, all things considered, first-rate science fiction, something Star Trek often has fallen short of, particularly in its more recent years.
Second places goes to ST3:TSfS.
"First Contact" had the potential to be a truly creepy monster movie with the Borg slowly assimilating the Enterprise crew, and it had the potential to be a psychological movie as it studied Picard's motivations. It made some solid moves in those diretions, but they really got too goofy when it came to Zefram Cochrane down on the planet. I could have done without a lot of that, and I could have done with a more respectable characterization of him. The way they did it was just ridiculous and made him into a buffoon rather than an inspirational person like Kirk and others saw him as.
They focused too much on the buffoonery and really failed to provide anything about him that would make him a role model or an inspiration, either to the future or to viewers.
Yeah, he came up with the warp bubble, which means he was smart. But even there, what was his reason? To get rich and buy a small island where he could be surrounded by half-naked women all the time. There are people who believe in discovery for its own sake and to improve the human condition. I don't think it would have been unreasonable to ask that Zephram Cochrane be one of those, especially since this is "Star Trek" we're talking about, which has always stressed human exploration and increasing our knowledge of ourselves and the universe.
Actually, if you read the novel "Enterprise," there is a rather compelling characterization of Cochrane there like what I'm describing. I really wish they had followed something like that instead. There are buffoons who accomplish things by accident, and many of our heroes had their weaknesses and things that made them small in ways both subtle and gross, but there are truly great men in history as well, and it demeans us all to forget that or pretend that it is not so.
As far as Star Trek V goes, I understand Shatner was under some pressure from the studio and ended up taking a bit of a fall for things he had no control over.
And it wasn't all that bad. Sybok was *completely* in character. (Interesting trivia point: Originally, the role of Sybok was meant for Sean Connery, but he opted for the role of Dr. Henry Jones in "The Last Crusade," which came out the same summer. Wtiters paid tribute to him by naming the Vulcan paradise after him: Sha Ka Ree.)
The best advice I ever had on "The Final Frontier" was to watch it like it's a very long episode. The feel of the movie actually is a lot like the original series.
best captain of the starship enterprise
Pick one:
For those who don't know but may care:
1) Jonathan Archer: Captain of the Enterprise in "Enterprise," the latest gallon of skim milk from the cash cow.
2) Robert April: First captain of NCC-1701, appeared in Star Trek: The Animated Series.
3) Christopher Pike: Succeeded April, preceded Kirk. Appeared in "The Cage" and in "The Menagerie."
4) James Kirk: Captain of the Enterprise, NCC-1701, during its five-year mission that was canceled after three years.
5) Willard Decker: Was supposed to captain a refitted Enterprise at the start of "Star Trek: The Motion Picture," but Kirk, now an admiral, pulled rank to take the Enterprise out to meet Vejur.
6) Spock: Captain of the Enterprise during its tour of duty as a training vessel, in "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan."
7) John Harriman: Captain of the Alaska class starship Enterprise, NCC-1701-B. He appears in "Star Trek Generations" and is notable mainly for totaling his starship on its maiden voyage. The actor had a similar role in "Ferris Bueler's Day Off."
8) Rachel Garret: Captain of the Enterprise-class (?) starship Enterprise, NCC-1701-C. Her ship was destroyed and she died repelling a Romulan attack on the Klingons. She appears, due to a temporal anomaly, in "Yesterday's Enterprise."
9) Jean-Luc Picard: Captain of the Galaxy-class starship Enterprise NCC-1701-D and its successor, NCC-1701-E.
10) William Riker: Given field promotion to captain during "The Best of Both Worlds," while Picard was assimilated by the Borg.
Due to space constraints, I was unable to include Captain Jellison, who took command of the Enterprise-D for a two-episode story in the sixth season of "Star Trek: The Next Generation," or Montgomery Scott, who was promoted to the rank of captain at the beginning of "Star Trek III: The Search for Spock."
Sisko and Janeway don't count for purposes of this poll, since he was captain of a space station and she was captain of Voyager.
I don't really know much about Sisko. I saw the episode with Q, and I saw "Trials and Tribble-ations," but aside from those and one or two other shows, I never really saw that much DS9. It seemed like a nice and welcome change of pace for Star Trek when I first heard about it, setting a show on the backside of Star Fleet rather than on its flagship. I never got into the show later on because it became too invovled with the war plot and the Dominion and all.
Pike, like April, might be an interesting captain, but we really don't know much about him. What appears in "The Menagerie" is almost all from "The Cage," and I'm only aware of one Star Trek novel that deals with him further. (That would be "Vulcan's Glory," by D.C. Fontana, for those keeping track.)
My personal preference is Kirk. Unlike Picard, he didn't surrender every time he faced a hostile; he demonstrated moral restraint when he had the advantage over a fallen enemy; and also unlike Picard, he actually led the Enterprise into the unknown and explored space. True, he had more casualties, but he also was an explorer, where the potential for casualties was much greater. Kirk also wasn't a self-righteous moralist like Picard.
- Jonathan Archer
- Robert April
- Christopher Pike
- James Kirk
- Will Decker
- Spock
- John Harriman
- Rachel Garret
- Jean-Luc Picard
- William Riker
For those who don't know but may care:
1) Jonathan Archer: Captain of the Enterprise in "Enterprise," the latest gallon of skim milk from the cash cow.
2) Robert April: First captain of NCC-1701, appeared in Star Trek: The Animated Series.
3) Christopher Pike: Succeeded April, preceded Kirk. Appeared in "The Cage" and in "The Menagerie."
4) James Kirk: Captain of the Enterprise, NCC-1701, during its five-year mission that was canceled after three years.
5) Willard Decker: Was supposed to captain a refitted Enterprise at the start of "Star Trek: The Motion Picture," but Kirk, now an admiral, pulled rank to take the Enterprise out to meet Vejur.
6) Spock: Captain of the Enterprise during its tour of duty as a training vessel, in "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan."
7) John Harriman: Captain of the Alaska class starship Enterprise, NCC-1701-B. He appears in "Star Trek Generations" and is notable mainly for totaling his starship on its maiden voyage. The actor had a similar role in "Ferris Bueler's Day Off."
8) Rachel Garret: Captain of the Enterprise-class (?) starship Enterprise, NCC-1701-C. Her ship was destroyed and she died repelling a Romulan attack on the Klingons. She appears, due to a temporal anomaly, in "Yesterday's Enterprise."
9) Jean-Luc Picard: Captain of the Galaxy-class starship Enterprise NCC-1701-D and its successor, NCC-1701-E.
10) William Riker: Given field promotion to captain during "The Best of Both Worlds," while Picard was assimilated by the Borg.
Due to space constraints, I was unable to include Captain Jellison, who took command of the Enterprise-D for a two-episode story in the sixth season of "Star Trek: The Next Generation," or Montgomery Scott, who was promoted to the rank of captain at the beginning of "Star Trek III: The Search for Spock."
Sisko and Janeway don't count for purposes of this poll, since he was captain of a space station and she was captain of Voyager.
I don't really know much about Sisko. I saw the episode with Q, and I saw "Trials and Tribble-ations," but aside from those and one or two other shows, I never really saw that much DS9. It seemed like a nice and welcome change of pace for Star Trek when I first heard about it, setting a show on the backside of Star Fleet rather than on its flagship. I never got into the show later on because it became too invovled with the war plot and the Dominion and all.
Pike, like April, might be an interesting captain, but we really don't know much about him. What appears in "The Menagerie" is almost all from "The Cage," and I'm only aware of one Star Trek novel that deals with him further. (That would be "Vulcan's Glory," by D.C. Fontana, for those keeping track.)
My personal preference is Kirk. Unlike Picard, he didn't surrender every time he faced a hostile; he demonstrated moral restraint when he had the advantage over a fallen enemy; and also unlike Picard, he actually led the Enterprise into the unknown and explored space. True, he had more casualties, but he also was an explorer, where the potential for casualties was much greater. Kirk also wasn't a self-righteous moralist like Picard.
Thursday, September 12, 2002
Enterprise not impressive to this Trekkie
Well, I've finally seen a few episodes of "Enterprise," and I have to say that I'm not impressed.
I'm not quite sure what it is about the show that's not doing it for me, but it lacks some essential spark to make it grab my attention and keep it. Maybe it's the lack of real conflict among the crew, or any sense that they're actually blazing new trails in science fiction or even in Star Trek. It just seems like more of the same stuff, with a little window dressing.
Maybe it's just Star Trek fatigue, at this point. More weird shit episodes, all happily resolved at the end of the episode with no lasting complications.
It does seem like Scott Bakula is just coasting as Jonathan Archer. I saw much stronger performances from him as Samuel Beckett (and I don't mean the archbishop of Canterbury, either) and on the one episode of "Murphy Brown" I actually watched.
I do think it's interesting the way the Vulcans are being cast in a negative light, suspicious of other races and determined to control the paths of other, less advanced peoples like Terrans and Andorians. (Speaking of which, I tremendously enjoyed the appearance of the Andorians. It was a good bit of continuity with Classic Trek, and it nicely showed the unpleasant side of Vulcan behavior toward "lesser" species.)
I also enjoyed the Halloween episode, where a hallucinogen in the air was causing everyone to see and hear things and suspect the Vulcan science officer of some sort of treachery. It was a much more effective Halloween episode than "Catseye," the Classic Trek episode where the aliens turned out to be extradimensional pipecleaners.
But I do have one question: What's the Vulcan logic in that skin-tight bodysuit? I understand the ratings logic, but not the Vulcan logic.
I'm not quite sure what it is about the show that's not doing it for me, but it lacks some essential spark to make it grab my attention and keep it. Maybe it's the lack of real conflict among the crew, or any sense that they're actually blazing new trails in science fiction or even in Star Trek. It just seems like more of the same stuff, with a little window dressing.
Maybe it's just Star Trek fatigue, at this point. More weird shit episodes, all happily resolved at the end of the episode with no lasting complications.
It does seem like Scott Bakula is just coasting as Jonathan Archer. I saw much stronger performances from him as Samuel Beckett (and I don't mean the archbishop of Canterbury, either) and on the one episode of "Murphy Brown" I actually watched.
I do think it's interesting the way the Vulcans are being cast in a negative light, suspicious of other races and determined to control the paths of other, less advanced peoples like Terrans and Andorians. (Speaking of which, I tremendously enjoyed the appearance of the Andorians. It was a good bit of continuity with Classic Trek, and it nicely showed the unpleasant side of Vulcan behavior toward "lesser" species.)
I also enjoyed the Halloween episode, where a hallucinogen in the air was causing everyone to see and hear things and suspect the Vulcan science officer of some sort of treachery. It was a much more effective Halloween episode than "Catseye," the Classic Trek episode where the aliens turned out to be extradimensional pipecleaners.
But I do have one question: What's the Vulcan logic in that skin-tight bodysuit? I understand the ratings logic, but not the Vulcan logic.
Friday, August 16, 2002
star trek movies
It has been noted by many people that the "Star Trek" movies historically have done poorly if they have an odd number, but well if the have an even number.
Personally, I think the highlight of the Star Trek movie franchise was II, III and IV. STIV:TVH proved to be the downfall of the franchise since its humor gave it a wide appeal in the mainstream. Ever since then, the studio wanted the humor played up, usually to the detriment of the movie, because they were hoping to have the same level of breakthrough.
The TNG movies, in my opinion, have been largely disappointing in that they have yet to be real movies. So far they've been done in the same manner as long episodes. Bor-ing. The Classic Trek movies explored and developed the characters, and showed things happening in their lives. So far, the Next Generation movies have just been more of the same as the series.
I did think "First Contact" nearly succeeded as a suspense film -- actually, it half succeeded. The Borg half of the movie was, as you indicated, phenomenal. Its treatment of the Borg built excellently on what we had seen of them in "Q Who" and "The Best of Both Worlds," and Patrick Stewart did a great job capturing the emotion Picard would have to feel after what the Borg did to him.
Paramount got greedy and milked the cash cow to death, that's all. When ST:TMP came out, there hadn't been any new Trek on TV for eight or nine years. Star Trek Generations came out three months after the series went off the air, while DS9 was still broadcasting new episodes. Since then we've had "Star Trek Voyager" and "Enterprise," and we've seen the movie franchise deteriorate further and further. Star Trek has been on the air continuously since 1989 -- why should any Trekkie but the ones so rabid they insist on being called "Trekkers" pay to see "Nemesis" at the theater?
No thanks, I'll wait until it reaches Bluckbuster.
Personally, I think the highlight of the Star Trek movie franchise was II, III and IV. STIV:TVH proved to be the downfall of the franchise since its humor gave it a wide appeal in the mainstream. Ever since then, the studio wanted the humor played up, usually to the detriment of the movie, because they were hoping to have the same level of breakthrough.
The TNG movies, in my opinion, have been largely disappointing in that they have yet to be real movies. So far they've been done in the same manner as long episodes. Bor-ing. The Classic Trek movies explored and developed the characters, and showed things happening in their lives. So far, the Next Generation movies have just been more of the same as the series.
I did think "First Contact" nearly succeeded as a suspense film -- actually, it half succeeded. The Borg half of the movie was, as you indicated, phenomenal. Its treatment of the Borg built excellently on what we had seen of them in "Q Who" and "The Best of Both Worlds," and Patrick Stewart did a great job capturing the emotion Picard would have to feel after what the Borg did to him.
But the Zephram Cochrane storyline flopped. It had some amusing moments, true, but it didn't work well with the rest of the movie, I thought. Really, it duplicated the errors of "Star Trek6: The Undiscovered Country" -- it showed they were trying to do a serious movie but they wanted to have the humor in there too. It was as though they couldn't decide what sort of treatment to give the movie.
What I would have liked to have seen is something along the lines of what we saw in ST:TMP and even in ST2:TWoK. Scatter the characters about. Riker's been in line to get a command of his own for years. Picard could be promoted to the rank of admiral. Geordi and Data could have promising technical careers inside Star Fleet; Worf has ties to his clan within the Klingon Empire, as well as his years-long assignment to Deep Space 9. It makes no sense for them all to still be in one place, particularly since the ship was destroyed at the end of STG. Maybe there's a compelling reason to bring them back together, like we saw at the start of ST:TMP, but give us a sense that their lives have gone on.Paramount got greedy and milked the cash cow to death, that's all. When ST:TMP came out, there hadn't been any new Trek on TV for eight or nine years. Star Trek Generations came out three months after the series went off the air, while DS9 was still broadcasting new episodes. Since then we've had "Star Trek Voyager" and "Enterprise," and we've seen the movie franchise deteriorate further and further. Star Trek has been on the air continuously since 1989 -- why should any Trekkie but the ones so rabid they insist on being called "Trekkers" pay to see "Nemesis" at the theater?
No thanks, I'll wait until it reaches Bluckbuster.
Tuesday, June 27, 2000
Identifying the real Lucers among us
I used to think that if you wanted to offend someone, you had to do something, well, offensive. Something like feeding them soup made with Puppy Chow, playing "Elton John's Greatest Hits" over and over again, or e-mailing them copies of a column you write.
I've been set straight on that score. Apparently, all you have to do is make a movie that satirizes them, their favorite TV show and the actors from that TV show, and they'll get offended. They get even more offended if you do it well.
In this case, my friend told me how offended he was by "Galaxy Quest," a movie that does all those things for Star Trek, when I casually remarked that I had seen it had been released on videotape and was hoping to buy a used copy when one became available.
My friend, who regularly reminds me that "Trekkies" are the really far-out fans and that "Trekkers" is the preferred term for fans who don't require medication, wasn't amused by the movie. In fact, he was a little put off.
"Why does everyone like to pick on Star Trek fans?" he demanded angrily. "We're not freaks. We just like good sci-fi."
I avoided the obvious cheap shot -- that people make fun of us because it's so easy -- and conceded that he had a point. Trekkies -- excuse me, Trekkers -- love lots of good science fiction, including the novels of Larry Niven, shows like "Babylon 5," and other great epics, like "Zombies of the Stratosphere."
My friend was absolutely right. Trekkies -- sorry, I mean Trekkers -- clearly have been the victims of a media smear campaign.
But if Star Trek fans aren't the geeks we've always thought, then who is? Because there are a lot of geeks in the world, and they have to belong to some easily identifiable group. That's how it works, and a TV show is a good a basis for the designation as anything else.
After giving the matter a lot of thought, I finally realized the truth. The TV show that has inspired unthinkable levels of zaniness and belief-defying antics from its fans is "I Love Lucy." Those are the real freaks among us, not the Save our Sesame Street militia, not the politicians, not the newspaper editors and columnists, and certainly not the Trekkies. (Trekkers. Sorry.)
In its time, "I Love Lucy" has spawned no fewer than three sequels -- "Lucy and Ricky," "The Lucy Show" and "Here's Lucy" -- that continued in the same tried-and-true formula as the original, with little fresh creative spark to make them stand out.
Star Trek can't ever compare to that.
The Lucy phenomenon is the driving force behind massive conventions within Lucy fandom. These events happen regularly, and draw attendees from hundreds of miles away, who come dressed as their favorite characters. They even have contests among redheads to see who looks the most like Lucy. Sick, sick, sick!
And then there's the real whacked-out fans who know unhealthy amounts of trivia about "I Love Lucy," including the names of bit characters, other shows those actors appeared in, original episode air dates, entire runs of dialogue and the backstage quarrels of the actors.
While we're at it, let's not forget Barbara Adams, the woman dismissed from jury duty on the Whitewater trial in Little Rock, Ark., because she kept coming to court dressed like Little Ricky, complete with a miniature bongo drum. Reports even have it that her co-workers call her "Junior."
Actually, I'm surprised it took me so long to finger the Lucy fans as such oddballs. The Lucy phenomenon has been documented quite thoroughly in the media. Pop culturalists have written books about the zany antics of "Lucy" fans and the strong political themes the show addressed.
For a show from the early days of television, fans say, "I Love Lucy" confronted several major issues of its day. There was an episode about U.S.-Cuba relations, dealt with through a clever parallel built around uranium mining, another episode about McCarthyism, and a third about the rising price of toilet paper.
And then there's the infamous honor's thesis, written in college by someone whose name I have forgotten, about the religious themes of "I Love Lucy," including the death of God, the return to Paradise and the failure of traditional religion.
It should be clear by now who the real losers are.
Trekkies -- I mean Trekkers -- you stand absolved of all charges of geekiness of which you formerly have been accused. The real geeks, clearly, are the Lucies.
Sorry. I mean the Lucers.
Copyright © 2000 by David Learn. Used with permission.
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I've been set straight on that score. Apparently, all you have to do is make a movie that satirizes them, their favorite TV show and the actors from that TV show, and they'll get offended. They get even more offended if you do it well.
In this case, my friend told me how offended he was by "Galaxy Quest," a movie that does all those things for Star Trek, when I casually remarked that I had seen it had been released on videotape and was hoping to buy a used copy when one became available.
My friend, who regularly reminds me that "Trekkies" are the really far-out fans and that "Trekkers" is the preferred term for fans who don't require medication, wasn't amused by the movie. In fact, he was a little put off.
"Why does everyone like to pick on Star Trek fans?" he demanded angrily. "We're not freaks. We just like good sci-fi."
I avoided the obvious cheap shot -- that people make fun of us because it's so easy -- and conceded that he had a point. Trekkies -- excuse me, Trekkers -- love lots of good science fiction, including the novels of Larry Niven, shows like "Babylon 5," and other great epics, like "Zombies of the Stratosphere."
My friend was absolutely right. Trekkies -- sorry, I mean Trekkers -- clearly have been the victims of a media smear campaign.
But if Star Trek fans aren't the geeks we've always thought, then who is? Because there are a lot of geeks in the world, and they have to belong to some easily identifiable group. That's how it works, and a TV show is a good a basis for the designation as anything else.
After giving the matter a lot of thought, I finally realized the truth. The TV show that has inspired unthinkable levels of zaniness and belief-defying antics from its fans is "I Love Lucy." Those are the real freaks among us, not the Save our Sesame Street militia, not the politicians, not the newspaper editors and columnists, and certainly not the Trekkies. (Trekkers. Sorry.)
In its time, "I Love Lucy" has spawned no fewer than three sequels -- "Lucy and Ricky," "The Lucy Show" and "Here's Lucy" -- that continued in the same tried-and-true formula as the original, with little fresh creative spark to make them stand out.
Star Trek can't ever compare to that.
And then there's the real whacked-out fans who know unhealthy amounts of trivia about "I Love Lucy," including the names of bit characters, other shows those actors appeared in, original episode air dates, entire runs of dialogue and the backstage quarrels of the actors.
While we're at it, let's not forget Barbara Adams, the woman dismissed from jury duty on the Whitewater trial in Little Rock, Ark., because she kept coming to court dressed like Little Ricky, complete with a miniature bongo drum. Reports even have it that her co-workers call her "Junior."
Actually, I'm surprised it took me so long to finger the Lucy fans as such oddballs. The Lucy phenomenon has been documented quite thoroughly in the media. Pop culturalists have written books about the zany antics of "Lucy" fans and the strong political themes the show addressed.
For a show from the early days of television, fans say, "I Love Lucy" confronted several major issues of its day. There was an episode about U.S.-Cuba relations, dealt with through a clever parallel built around uranium mining, another episode about McCarthyism, and a third about the rising price of toilet paper.
And then there's the infamous honor's thesis, written in college by someone whose name I have forgotten, about the religious themes of "I Love Lucy," including the death of God, the return to Paradise and the failure of traditional religion.
It should be clear by now who the real losers are.
Trekkies -- I mean Trekkers -- you stand absolved of all charges of geekiness of which you formerly have been accused. The real geeks, clearly, are the Lucies.
Sorry. I mean the Lucers.
Copyright © 2000 by David Learn. Used with permission.
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Sunday, July 26, 1992
A solution to the Wesley problem we can all support
Ways to Cure the Wesley Problem
- While visiting a starbase on the planet of the Guardian of Forever, the crew of the Enterprise is horrified to find the rest of the universe change around them. Due to his Star Fleet training and knowledge of history, Wesley is chosen for the special mission of going back in time as a redshirt who beams down to a planet with Captain Kirk and takes a bullet meant for him.
- The Borg make Wesley their new speaker, and Captain Picard is forced to conclude that rescuing him from the Borg cube would unnecessarily endanger the Enterprise crew. He is given a hero's funeral when the Borg cube is destroyed.
- In engineering, the photon torpedoes are stuck and Wesley is forced to activate them manually from inside the tubes. As he gives the order to fire torpedoes, Picard remarks on the needs of the many "outweighing the needs of the few."
- Another of Wesley's science experiments develops into a lifeform on an episode called "Frankenstein." In a chilling scene, his science projects says, "You are my creator, but I am your master--obey!" After his science project kills his girlfriend, Wesley chases it all the way to Pluto where they both crashland and freeze to death.
- As part of a fraternity prank at Star Fleet Academy, someone sticks a phaser, set to overload, under Wesley's pillow one night.
- Wesley is transferred to Deep Space Nine and is killed when thousands of rioting Star Trek fans, angered that the show has broken with formula and is not set on a starship, rampage through the set in the final episode.
Tuesday, July 21, 1992
Roddenberry's literary inspiration for Trek names
Here's an item of interest for people wondering where the names come from for Star Trek characters.
It should be common knowledge that all of the character names in Classic Star Trek, including Spock, were stolen from the pages of the early, less widely known, works of Shakespeare.
New research indicates that previous drafts of Macbeth featured a Scottish king named Kirk who was murdered by the Thane of Cawdor, an enterprising man named MacCoy. also the working title of the play.
Toward the end of the play, Lady MacCoy throws a beggar out of the castle, crying, "Out, out, damn Spock!" The pretender king, MacCoy, is killed in a brutal sword fight with a Scotsman called "Scotty." In later drafts, his name was changed to MacDuff.
We all (or many of us, at least) have heard about Jordi LaForge, the disabled Star Trek fan for whom Chief Engineer Geordi LaForge is named. And many of us also have heard that Jean-Luc Picard is named, in part, after Jean Piccard, a French balloonist. (There is also a Jean Picard, a French astronomer noted for calculating the size of the earth.) And of course Wesley was named after Roddenberry himself, whose given name was Wesley Eugene.
Well, here's something else to add to the trivia:
pulaski: a single-bit axe with an adze-shaped hoe extending from the back
(Courtesy of Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary)
I don't know if it's significant, but it struck me as interesting to find out that "pulaski" is actually a word and not just a name.
Add that to other useless name trivia about the origins of names like "Hikaru" (means the Shining One, see Vonda Mackintyre's "The Entropy Effect" for more info.), "Mr Atoz" ("A to Z," appropriate for a librarian) and N'gilam ("Malign" backwards).
Nyota Uhuru (or Uhura, depending on the transliteration) is Swahili for "Star Freedom."
Pavel Chekov was the name of Russian playwright Anton Chekhov's father.
I think — and this is mostly a guess — that the name of Leonard McCoy comes from a short story by Kafka called "Just a Plain Old Country Doctor."
That's all I can think of right now.
It should be common knowledge that all of the character names in Classic Star Trek, including Spock, were stolen from the pages of the early, less widely known, works of Shakespeare.
New research indicates that previous drafts of Macbeth featured a Scottish king named Kirk who was murdered by the Thane of Cawdor, an enterprising man named MacCoy. also the working title of the play.
Toward the end of the play, Lady MacCoy throws a beggar out of the castle, crying, "Out, out, damn Spock!" The pretender king, MacCoy, is killed in a brutal sword fight with a Scotsman called "Scotty." In later drafts, his name was changed to MacDuff.
We all (or many of us, at least) have heard about Jordi LaForge, the disabled Star Trek fan for whom Chief Engineer Geordi LaForge is named. And many of us also have heard that Jean-Luc Picard is named, in part, after Jean Piccard, a French balloonist. (There is also a Jean Picard, a French astronomer noted for calculating the size of the earth.) And of course Wesley was named after Roddenberry himself, whose given name was Wesley Eugene.
Well, here's something else to add to the trivia:
pulaski: a single-bit axe with an adze-shaped hoe extending from the back
(Courtesy of Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary)
I don't know if it's significant, but it struck me as interesting to find out that "pulaski" is actually a word and not just a name.
Add that to other useless name trivia about the origins of names like "Hikaru" (means the Shining One, see Vonda Mackintyre's "The Entropy Effect" for more info.), "Mr Atoz" ("A to Z," appropriate for a librarian) and N'gilam ("Malign" backwards).
Nyota Uhuru (or Uhura, depending on the transliteration) is Swahili for "Star Freedom."
Pavel Chekov was the name of Russian playwright Anton Chekhov's father.
I think — and this is mostly a guess — that the name of Leonard McCoy comes from a short story by Kafka called "Just a Plain Old Country Doctor."
That's all I can think of right now.
Wednesday, October 18, 1989
Star Trek: Transporters and the ethics of beaming aboard
Transporters are such a basic part of Star Trek technology that their use is almost automatic. Need to get to the planet? Beam on down. Need to return to the ship in a hurry? Beam on up.
Convenience aside, there's something to be said for in-world examination of their ethics. In "The Savage Curtain," Kirk explains that the transporters disassembles a person on one end and then reassembles them atom by atom on the other. Scant and nontechnical as that is, it's still got to raise questions.
In James Blish's "Spock Must Die," Dr. McCoy raises the moral question of "Is transporting someone murder?" If someone is disassembled, then there is at least a nanosecond where she does not exist. Under such a situation, she would be dead, and all that is left of the crew member is a sort of soulless zombie walking around on the planet.
In "Spock's World," author Diane Duane suggests another model of how they work. Transporters don't disassemble matter, they convert it into energy, which they transmit to a destination, where the energy is shows how transporters can be used for storing food so it won't go stale. You just store the energy patterns of the food, and convert it back into its physical form whenever you want to.
These books, and a couple others such as "Fate of the Phoenix," indicate that the transporter "memorizes" the energy subject's resonances, converts the object into energy and then duplicates it on the planet below.
Meanwhile, in "Fate of the Phoenix," the villain Black Omne uses transporter technology to make duplicates of other people (and himself). So, if I go through his transporter, he can now make dozens of duplicates of me by using another energy source to duplicate my energy pattern -- a sort of immortality, especially if it's done an instant before death.
I'm surprised this hasn't been dealt with more in Star Trek. If you've got a big enough energy source, you can duplicate one person millions of times and send him/them against an enemy force.
Can you imagine what Star Fleet would have been like with a Kirk and Spock on every starship?
There are lot of moral and legal questions can spring up around the transporter as it works in the series. Still, in a "Star Trek: The Next Generation" episode, the Enterprise encounters the ruins of an advanced civilization with transporter technology that avoids this problem.
With Ionian technology, the person to be transported simply steps through a virtual door and emerges on the other side. In a sense, that arrangement would be ideal, as it does not involve duplicating a crew member or destroying either copy.
On the other hand, what if the doorway is set for null coordinates? What happens then? I'd hate to spend the rest of eternity in transport, in some timeless dimension. Brr. Gives me as many willies thinking about that as being killed every time I transport.
No wonder McCoy hated the blasted things so much.
In James Blish's "Spock Must Die," Dr. McCoy raises the moral question of "Is transporting someone murder?" If someone is disassembled, then there is at least a nanosecond where she does not exist. Under such a situation, she would be dead, and all that is left of the crew member is a sort of soulless zombie walking around on the planet.
In "Spock's World," author Diane Duane suggests another model of how they work. Transporters don't disassemble matter, they convert it into energy, which they transmit to a destination, where the energy is shows how transporters can be used for storing food so it won't go stale. You just store the energy patterns of the food, and convert it back into its physical form whenever you want to.
These books, and a couple others such as "Fate of the Phoenix," indicate that the transporter "memorizes" the energy subject's resonances, converts the object into energy and then duplicates it on the planet below.
Meanwhile, in "Fate of the Phoenix," the villain Black Omne uses transporter technology to make duplicates of other people (and himself). So, if I go through his transporter, he can now make dozens of duplicates of me by using another energy source to duplicate my energy pattern -- a sort of immortality, especially if it's done an instant before death.
I'm surprised this hasn't been dealt with more in Star Trek. If you've got a big enough energy source, you can duplicate one person millions of times and send him/them against an enemy force.
Can you imagine what Star Fleet would have been like with a Kirk and Spock on every starship?
There are lot of moral and legal questions can spring up around the transporter as it works in the series. Still, in a "Star Trek: The Next Generation" episode, the Enterprise encounters the ruins of an advanced civilization with transporter technology that avoids this problem.
With Ionian technology, the person to be transported simply steps through a virtual door and emerges on the other side. In a sense, that arrangement would be ideal, as it does not involve duplicating a crew member or destroying either copy.
On the other hand, what if the doorway is set for null coordinates? What happens then? I'd hate to spend the rest of eternity in transport, in some timeless dimension. Brr. Gives me as many willies thinking about that as being killed every time I transport.
No wonder McCoy hated the blasted things so much.
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