Monday, February 01, 2021

My Black Lives Matter hoodie and me

Allow me to recommend this Black Lives Matter hoodie. It's warm and comfortable.

 

It also makes an important anti-racist message of solidarity. I was wearing it during the blizzard tonight when my car broke down and I needed police assistance.

 

A lot of things went through my mind as I sat in my car and waited for police to arrive. What kind of reception would this hoodie get? What if the responding officer had a chip on his shoulder and took offense at its "anti-police" message?

 

Theater of the mind suggested all sorts of outcomes. Maybe there'd be an unpleasant conversation. Given the scope of officer discretion, maybe there would be charges. Failure to maintain vehicle, careless driving, who knows?

 

"Great night to wear this hoodie," I thought.

 

Police showed up. The officer on the scene was a consummate professional. Friendly, helpful, stayed with me until the tow came. He never said boo about the hoodie, although he did ask what the bumper sticker with the equals sign ( = ) was for.

 

"Marriage equality," I said. (I'm all in as a liberal.)

 

Is there a point to this story? Yes. Tonight was a night I needed police assistance, and I called for it. If I was a little nervous about what would happen, I'm fortunate enough to know that those nerves are a matter of projection and not rooted in personal experience.

 

But those nerves were a product of wearing a BLM hoodie and choosing to identify with the black victims of police violence and oppression. I wouldn't have been nervous at all if the hoodie had featured a picture of Tom Baker and said "You always remember your first Doctor."

 

Tonight I got not a taste, nor a sample, but maybe a shadow of what it's like to be a black motorist. I'd guess most black experiences with police go without incident too, beyond the initial stop and dreaded wait as the cop walks to the window.

 

Most, that is. But not all.

 

Too many of those encounters, and disproportionately far more than with white motorists, end in violence or even death.

 

Jonathan Ferrell was shot and killed by police after his car broke down and he asked for help. Sandra Fluke was pulled over, removed from her car and incarcerated. She was found, hanged in her cell. days later. Walter Scott was shot in the back when he ran from police over a traffic stop. Philando Castille was shot to death in his car while complying with police instructions.

 

Do I need to go on?

 

I hated feeling that shadow tonight, but at least I can always wear something different when I go out in the cold.

 

Black motorists can't change their skin.

 

I'm not changing that hoodie either.

Friday, January 01, 2021

My wishes for you in the new year

 Today is New Years Day. The old year is gone, the new year has begun. Happy New Year!

I hope this year to you is not a second chance to succeed where you've struggled or fallen. I hope instead it's a new beginning on a clean slate, with no record of past wrongs.

I hope someone tells you "I love you," and I hope that you say “I love you” too.

I hope you rediscover the pleasures of touch: on the hair, on the arm, the face, the back.

I hope you're someone's priority this year, not just an option.

I hope that one of your dreams comes true, and another sees progress.

I hope you read, for pleasure, something you really enjoy; and the experience transports you to places familiar and new.

I hope you find your work meaningful and satisfying.

I hope you sing, by yourself and with friends.

I hope you seize the opportunity to dance, in the kitchen or in the living room, with someone you love.

When you cry, I hope you're not alone.

Also when you laugh.

I hope this is a good year for you. one where you make new friends, enjoy the company of old friends, and reconnect with friends whom you've forgotten.

Where you've been hurt, I hope you can extend grace if you can't forgive; and when you're alone I hope you reach out and take the hand of one more alone than you.

The old year is over, but it may take a while for us to escape the shadows it has cast, and longer still until it's been forgotten. But a new year is here, and it offers us a new beginning. That beginning is ours. If we take it. Together.

Happy New Year.