epitaphs

Here also resteth the body of Mr. Thomas Shipphard, who was here interred the 11th July 1771, in the 82nd year of his age. Then follows:

God works wonders now and then; Here lies a lawyer--an honest man.

Source: Historical Gleanings of Bolton And District, 2nd Series, 1882, by B.T. Barton, p. 57

Another one I saw when we visited Tucson two years ago:

Here lies Les Moore,
Took two shots from a .44,
No Les, no more.

Actually, mine probably will be something like, "I told you I was sick," or my last words will be either "Look, honey, I'm not a little kid. Don't you think I know how to change a light bulb?" or "Evangeline, put that down before you hurt someone."