My kids are talking to me. It takes all I can muster not to yell at them to leave me alone.
They're leaning on me, touching my shoulder, sitting on my lap. They're looking at the birthday invitations we're designing on the computer, and I can't take it. The room is falling down around me, and I want to push them away, to "respect my space."
My back is hunched over, my arms and legs are pulled in as tightly as I can manage. I want to flee, to run far away from here, but I cannot. So instead I pull myself into a ball and try to hide.
Every muscle in my body is tight and hard. Every thought is racing, looking for somewhere safe. As I talk on the phone, my hands slide all over my arms and chest, trying to relax myself and to draw out the tension before I snap. A voice in the back of my head is screaming, and all I want to do is to run as far away as I can.
What is this about? What the hell is going on?
Copyright © 2006 by David Learn. Used with permission.
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1 comment:
Heh, I can't say for certain what's going on with you, but I've been there. I'm horrifyingly ashamed to admit this but I actually yelled a child in one of my afternoon English classed the other day... the fact that I yelled wasn't what shocked me... but I yelled at a child to "Shut Up!". I was so horrified that I immedietely took my chair into the corner and sat there, telling the children to stay away from me because "Teacher isn't feeling well. Teacher might get mad for no reason."
Anyway, this happens. We can only hope it passes quickly!
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