Sunday, August 05, 2007

recalling old writings

It occurred to me a while ago that I've made some posts from time to time on CHRefugee that actually had some decent points or original thoughts; as a result, when I have the time to kill, I'm painstakingly seaching for them in the dust.
 
Alas, some of the ones that really stand in my memory aren't there, I made them on a now-defunct About.com forum, and so my reflections on why I left Pentecostalism are gone, along with the ten dares I had come up with for returning missionaries. (Items like "Visit a Pentecostal  church. During worship, use your new language to order a large pepperoni pizza with extra cheese. Sit back and await the interpretation.")

I'm afraid I can't recall that entire list. I made it years ago, and that one stands out not only because it's my favorite, but because I actually did something similar to that in children's church at the Assemblies of God church I attended. (One of the puppets was supposed to start speaking in tongues, and rather than mess around with that "untie my bowtie" nonsense, I said, "Mwen vle un pitsa laj avek pepewoni e ple fwomaj." The associate pastor, who was backstage with me, started to laugh and promptly smacked me.)

The few I can recall:

  • Tell the board of elders what you really think about the proposed bowling alley addition to the church, the new Ford Lincoln Mercury for the pastor, or the latest frivolous additions to the sanctuary.
  • While on the missions field, send your tithe back to your home church. DEsignate the money for your own support.
  • Also while on the missions field: Borrow a baby and convince a friend to stand next to you for a photograph. Turn the picture into Christmas cards "from my family" and send them to all your supporters. Please note: This works even better if you were already married when you left for the missions field. (Yes, I did this one too. People still crack up over it, and other people still brood silently if it comes up.)

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