What sort of person was Jesus?
You could make the case that he was black:
- He called everyone "brother."
- He liked gospel.
- He couldn't get a fair trial.
The traditional answer is that he was Jewish. And you can make a case for that too. After all,
- He went into his father's business.
- He lived at home until he was 30.
- He was sure his mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was God.
But he also might have been Italian.
- He talked with his hands.
- He had wine with every meal.
- He used olive oil.
And as every hippy will attest, Jesus would have been right at home on the West Coast. Could he be from California?
- He never cut his hair.
- He walked around barefoot all the time.
- He started a new religion.
Or was Jesus Irish?
- He never got married.
- He was always telling stories.
- He loved green pastures.
Or maybe Jesus was an alcoholic.
- He was always going to parties at people's houses.
- He was always filled with the Spirit.
- His first miracle was to turn water into wine.
Probably the most compelling evidence suggests that Jesus was, in fact, a woman.
- He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice, when there was no food.
- He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
- Even when he was dead, he had to get up because there was more work for him to do.