Monday, December 17, 2007

understanding who jesus was

What sort of person was Jesus?
You could make the case that he was black:
  • He called everyone "brother."
  • He liked gospel.
  • He couldn't get a fair trial.
The traditional answer is that he was Jewish. And you can make a case for that too. After all,
  • He went into his father's business.
  • He lived at home until he was 30.
  • He was sure his mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was God.
But he also might have been Italian.
  • He talked with his hands.
  • He had wine with every meal.
  • He used olive oil.
And as every hippy will attest, Jesus would have been right at home on the West Coast. Could he be from California?
  • He never cut his hair.
  • He walked around barefoot all the time.
  • He started a new religion.
Or was Jesus Irish?
  • He never got married.
  • He was always telling stories.
  • He loved green pastures.
Or maybe Jesus was an alcoholic.
  • He was always going to parties at people's houses.
  • He was always filled with the Spirit.
  • His first miracle was to turn water into wine.
Probably the most compelling evidence suggests that Jesus was, in fact, a woman.
  • He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice, when there was no food.
  • He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
  • Even when he was dead, he had to get up because there was more work for him to do.

No comments: