Wednesday, September 24, 2008

how i feel

How do I feel sometimes? Powerless.

Unable to get a job.
Unable to give my kids the social chances they need.
Unable to keep them challenged and interested at school.
Unable to forge a way that I once saw as clearly as burning sword.
Unable to gain acceptance while retaining my integrity.
Unable to keep others from sliding into bitterness and despair.
Unable to cry, "Land ho!" and hope that it is not another cresting wave.
Unable to write two meaningful sentences that no one else has written a thousand times before.

Other times I merely feel overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed by an economy that is tanking so fast that the Ti-D Bowl man has drowned.
Overwhelmed by the demands of being a parent.
Overwhelmed by social machinery I've never understood myself.
Overwhelmed by doubt that keeps me spinning too fast to read a map.
Overwhelmed by the feeling that life has become a spectator sport.
Overwhelmed by the alienation others around me feel.
Overwhelmed by the sea that rises and rolls, mile after mile, without release.
Overwhelmed by ideas that want to be shared and stories to be born if only I had the discipline and the will.

Still other times I feel more capable.

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