discipline

My foster son is almost 30 months old, and one of the greatest challenges he presents us with is finding a way to discipline him in a way that will register and help him to understand that what he's doing is wrong.

Persistence (and consistency) are important, but I've found with our foster son that often those are not enough, at least not when a time-out is what I'm using. I'm curious what sort of creative discipline techniques other parents have found that work with their children. For example, my brother and sister-in-law eventually took everything out of their son's room except a bed and a desk because if there was anything else in there, he would distract himself with it rather than do the work he had been sent to his room to take care of. Getting things back in his room was a privilege he had to earn.

Although he's made progress, he's still nonverbal for the most part. We're not sure how much he really understands when we speak to him.

Time-outs really don't seem to faze him -- he'll just keep playing in the chair, completely oblivious to the fact that he's in time out. He was getting out of the chair for the longest time, but he's finally realized that he's supposed to stay there.

He's not a bad kid as much as he is undisciplined and dealing with two years of neglect from his biological parents. We're looking for something firm enough to drive the point home that what he's doing is wrong, but not so unpleasant that we end up adding to his problems. (Obviously.)

Isaac has been to a speech pathologist twice in the seven months he's been with us, and is showing remarkable improvement in language. He's still behind, of course, as he is in every area, but he's improving.

The doctors I've spoken with seem to believe it's possible he has a learning disability, but they're also quick to hedge their bets. Since Isaac has been severely neglected, it's hard to tell where the one problem begins and the other picks up.

My concern is that once he goes back to his parents -- and it's looking more and more likely these days -- they're not going to hesitate to use some of those terms on him.

Personally, I don't think Isaac is hyperactive. He often displays a short attention span and is always running about, but that's because so few people have taken the time to show him why he should pay attention to something. When it interests him, he has an incredible attention span.

I don't even like the term "learning disability," to be honest. All that often means is that he doesn't learn according to established methods of teaching. When that's the case -- as I suspect it might be here -- the fault isn't with the student, it's with the teacher who won't research ways to communicate with him better.