tattoos

The risk of hepatitis is substantial enough that I wouldn't get a tattoo. But if you do, here are a few suggestions:

1. If you've been studying the martial arts and you've progressed far enough, get a black belt tattooed around your waist.
   
2. Conversely, get a button-down shirt, necktie, dress pants, socks and shoes tattooed on your whole body, to save time getting dressed in the morning.
   
3. Get an arrow pointing to your chin, with the inscription above it, "This end up."
   
4. Get an arrow pointing to your chin, with the inscription above it, "I'm with stupid."
   
5. Shave your head and have the back of it tattooed, "Handle with care. Contents fragile."
   
6. As a sign of loyalty to your employer, have their logo tattooed on your forehead.
   
7. Get an elephant with a black belt, kicking the snot out of a donkey.
   
8. Have the words "At least I'm not Dave Learn" tattooed somewhere prominent.