banana nose

I've had a copy of this ever since my college freshman year, in 1988. It's stuck with me through a series of e-mail accounts, floppy disks and disks not-so-floppy, and through at least three computers. I have no idea who wrote it, but I post it here for everyone else to appreciate it as I have:

 

Buzz off, Banana Nose; Relieve mine eyes
Of hateful soreness, purge mine ears of corn.
Less dear than army ants in apple pies
Art thou, old prune-face, with thy chestnuts worn,
Dropt from thy peeling lips like lousy fruit.
Like honeybees upon the perfum'd rose
They suck, and like the double-breasted suit
Are out of date; therefore, Banana Nose,
Go fly a kite, thy welcome's overstayed.
And stem the produce of thy waspish wits:
Thy logick, like thy locks, is disarrayed.
Thy cheer, like thy complexion, is the pits.
Be off, I say; go bug somebody new,
Scram, beat it, get thee hence, and nuts to you.