Sunday, September 16, 2007

learning to hate

Let me start by saying that I've learned to hate church.

I'll cut right through the crap and admit that it's not because I think we're doing it wrong for this generation. I don't think it's because the worship is too loud, too soft, too contemporary, or too traditional. It'ws not because the preaching is too topical, too exegitical, too political, too personal, too abstract, or too boring. And it's not even because there are no ministries for me.

All of those things may have played a role in getting me to stop pretending everything is all right and that I love spending my Sunday mornings under pressure to get the family to church on time, but none of those things is why I look forwrd to Sundays with all the enthusiasm I can muster for a root canal.

What I mislike about church -- what I am learninbg to actively loathe -- is the utter pointlessness of it all.
-- the loneliness of it all.
-- the exclusion of it all.
-- the emptiness of it all.

1 comment:

Liadan said...

I hear that.

I think I got to hating it as well because I already dislike crowds and gatherings of people, particularly if I don't know them. On top of that, the obligation to be (or at least act) spiritual around people I don't even know well enough to actively like or dislike is a lot like being asked to have sex with a complete stranger-- the simultaneous expectation of personal intimacy and social distance is something I can't quite process.