civil servants

When I rule the world, I'm going to require that public servants actually try to be helpful and courteous when they deal with the public. In fact, I'll give them extra points for being brave, clean and reverent.

When a person who has lost his job tries to claim unemployment benefits, he will be treated at a minimum like he is a number, rather than the standard "nuisance" treatment now afforded. People who are down on their luck will not be treated like they are taking advantage of the system and frowned upon, and even those who are trying to take advantage of the system will still be treated with a modicum of respect: a pleasant smile, a firm handshake, an informal and friendly tone rather than a harsh or judgmental one.

Public employees who cannot perform at these basic levels of civility -- the New Jersey DMV, toll booth workers, and N.J. Family Care representatives, to name a few of the more lost causes -- will be deported to Toledo, Ohio, or Bedford, Pa., where they should fit right in or at least be out of the way.